Hey Jon Thomas don't stop believing in Santa Claus (commentary)

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -- From the day he was born eight years ago, Jon Thomas Fredheim and I were destined for wondrous adventures.

Although he was just an infant when we saw each other for the first time, his eyes were like, "Hey, Uncle Danny, wait for me! I'll be ready to go before you know it." And he was.

Even though he lives in Portland, Maine, we've managed to do tons of cool stuff together. Take, for example, the time we descended on a remote Florida beach under rapidly thickening clouds in search of pirate treasure. Armed with a crinkly old map that I had found and he studiously deciphered, we battled gale winds and a menacing surf to unearth a magnificent cache of glistening jewels. While his older sister, Maddy, hurriedly collected the bounty, Jon Thomas fearlessly stood guard amid concerns that Blackbeard's descendants might be lurking nearby and not understand the concept of finders keepers.

One year later, he and I returned to that very beach in an effort to track, find and slay Godzilla. Jon Thomas insisted on the mission after I told him of a report, albeit unconfirmed, that the demented behemoth had set an entire colony of pelicans ablaze and was now basking and belching in the sun there.

Startling news

Since we live 400 miles apart, my strategizing with Jon Thomas usually takes place either by phone or Facetime. Most recently, we've discussed the feasibility of gluing follicles from his lush head of hair onto my balding one; whether a magic potion will help me finally beat him in the finger-locking test of strength known as "Mercy-Mercy"; a continuing stream of Godzilla sightings; and my bold scheme -- categorically rejected by Jon Thomas -- to catch Santa Claus for fun and profit.

My nephew, Tim, is Jon Thomas's father. When he was a child on Staten Island, he and I used to battle both Godzilla and King Kong in Clove Lakes Park. Last Friday, Tim called from Portland with some startling news. Jon Thomas was expressing doubts about whether Santa Claus really exists! I was shocked! Sure, kids across the country struggle with that very issue year after year. But Jon Thomas? My compatriot in all things fantastic? No way could I let that happen! So this year's Christmas column is for my little buddy and similarly conflicted kids everywhere.

An uncle's plea

Hey, Jon Thomas! I believe in Santa and so should you! If a friend asked to ride your skateboard, you'd probably say OK, right? But if he added something like, "And by the way, J.T., I don't think you really exist," you'd probably tell him to get lost! It's sort of the same thing with Santa. Kids who doubt him do, indeed, get their Christmas gifts from their parents. But that's because when they quit on Santa, he quits on them.

Some people scoff at the idea of a man in a sleigh, pulled by reindeer, flying through the air, and traversing the entire world in a single night. They don't understand that Christmas on Earth is the most extraordinarily magical time in an extraordinarily magical universe. When the Hubble Space Telescope takes photos of a galaxy 100 million light-years away, we see that galaxy as it looked millions of years ago, a time when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. It's like going back in time. Since everything about Santa is magical, he's not bound by time or space. In fact, when he flies around the world on Christmas Eve, he returns home at the precise same time that he walked out the door.

We need Santa

Santa doubters point to the many people dressed up like Santa at Christmas fairs, on street corners and in various stores. But that hardly proves that Santa doesn't exist. In fact, it suggests the precise opposite. For starters, why would people bother to impersonate somebody who doesn't even exist? Besides, if somebody hopped on your skateboard and streaked through Portland screaming, "I'm Jon Thomas," would that prove you don't exist?

Some kids think that ditching Santa Claus makes them more grown up. What it really does, however, is steal their childhood. And when your childhood is gone, you don't get it back. That's why I never stopped believing in Santa. That's also why we've had so many amazing adventures. Your sister, Maddy, too. Remember when she caught that magical fish with the silver ring in its nose, right smack in front of us? Well, even more exciting adventures lie ahead! Do you really want to give them up to join an adult world that, quite honestly, is pretty messed up?

So, Jon Thomas, don't stop believing in Santa Claus! We need him! Come to think of it, everyone needs him! Love you!

-- Uncle Danny

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